


Du bist mein Sonnenschein, Liebling

by MikeWritesThings (orphan_account)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe- War, BelLiech, Character Death, Language, Multi, Sad, Violence, World War 3, Yaoi, Yuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:36:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4968298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/MikeWritesThings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's World War Three, and Lili Zwingli is beginning to see the world as bleak. Natalia Arlovskaya is an in-training fighter pilot who sees the world as only in black and white. Together, could their lives change, for the better, or for the worst?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eins

It's been going on for months now, but Lili pretended she didn't even notice it anymore, as did many of the villagers.

Go up the hill. Lower the bucket into the well. Deafening roars would fill everybody's ears and streaks of flashing gray would hurtle across the sky. They pretended they didn't hear anything. Pretended they didn't notice anything. Pretended that Switzerland hadn't consented to allowing planes over the border but never to land. Pretended that there weren't soldiers in the village right now talking about war either know that's the last thing any of them wanted.

Pretend the war wasn't robbing them of things. Precious things like chocolate, and sugar, and salt. That the TV and radio were often backed up and down because the military was using them to communicate. Pretend that Switzerland's pride as being a neutral country was somehow slowly seeping away.

World War Three started three years ago and it already feels like an eternity. It was already stripping people and their homes of identity.

But nonetheless, Lili finds herself still doing things she did before the war. Getting water from the well, because in her brother's opinion, the water tasted better from the well than it did the pipes anyways. Sketch the beautiful Swiss scenery before her. Her sketchpad was always tucked into her jacket in case she found inspiration. Lili still did all these little things and yet now she did new things.

She locked the door, always, either know this had never been a problem before. She locked the doors and checked the windows to make sure they were shut. Now when she went into town she only said hello to the people she knew. She didn't wave to random strangers anymore. There were chances they could be soldiers.

Switzerland still refused to take part in the war, refused to show favoritism by allowing both sides to cross the borders, but a battle was not to be fought on their land. That was the agreement.

Most of the time, it was either Ukrainian or British soldiers in town. Occasionally a Russian, occasionally an American. But mostly Ukrainian and British.

Basch told Lili not to converse with them, and if she heard them talking about war, the things that happened in the war, she was head home immediately. She was not to hear about sky attacks. She was not to hear about bombings. She was not to hear about raids.

She was not allowed to hear any of it.

* * *

 

" _Guten Morgen_ ," Lili greeted as she stepped inside the warm coffee shop, trying to undo her scarf, which she had wrapped too tightly. The man whom she saw every day but did not know the name of nodded in her direction, and there was a smile on his face. Everybody smiled around Lili, and Basch said it was because she was so 'likable.' She didn't know about likable, but she did know that all she was trying to do was be friendly.

"Guten Morgen, Lili," The man said back, and turned around to begin working on her usual order. A small black coffee for Basch. Warm apple cider for her. The shop was nearly empty, almost everybody out for lunch right now. Basch had asked Lili to get them drinks since the house felt like it was being turned into an ice cube. Lili had agreed only to get out of the house.

When Lili got her drinks, she pressed her hand over the warmth seeping through the cup. It made her feel better, safer, somehow. The streets were a bit dangerous these days. Hungry, angry soldiers or civilians started fistfights sometimes and pulled in unwilling citizens. It got dirty a lot of the time.

Scooping the drinks up in her arms to accompany the present she had bought Basch, Lili left the coffee shop and stepped into the biting cold. She had forgotten to tighten her scarf. The cold nipped her neck, causing her to shiver.

It was only a five minute walk back to her house, but Lili often slowed down to hear conversation around her. She wasn't trying to eavesdrop or anything, but her big brother didn't let her know what was going on in the war, and she wanted to know. She didn't care for details, she just wanted to know who was winning. What was happening. Her footsteps slowed as she passed through the town center, ears straining to hear conversation.

Two Ukrainian soldiers spoke with heavy accents in their own language that Lili only understood a few words of. She took slow steps through the stalls that were set up, selling hot chocolate and such to soldiers. Most of the time, the soldiers stayed on the streets to talk to one another.

"вони кричали," One said, and Lili wished she could speak Ukrainian to understand what it meant. But when a British soldier piped up something in English, she stopped completely. The Ukrainians responded in thick English, something she could understand.

"Yes, we talking about Chinese."

"Well, is anybody really surprised at this point?" The British man sighed, and there was a note of weariness in his tone, "It's practically all of Asia versus the rest of the world."

"We just no expect," One Ukrainian explained, and Lili turned her head slightly, the drinks in her arms growing a little colder in the air. The Ukrainian's friend agreed.

"You should've," The Brit sounded a bit cross, but he gave a light-hearted chuckle, "We're coming out on top. Just you watch. Enjoy Switzerland, while you can. насолоджуватися."

"We want know why Japan switch," The first Ukrainian said. The Brit snorted.

"Because America's on our side, and the Japanese are getting a better deal with them than they would the Chinese. Did you hear about the suicide bombing in Italy, though?"

There was confused mumbling in Ukrainian, a nervous laugh, and a voice suddenly spoke to Lili in German.

"Hey-You are Zwingli's sister?"

Lili whipped her head around to see a taller man standing before her, a bag of groceries in hand, glasses glinting from the sunlight. He had dark hair and a handsome face, a stern one at that. He reminded her very much of Basch in a way. Lili paused, thinking before nodding, "Yes sir."

"Should you not be at home right now?" There's a note of knowingness in his voice. Lili was sure she'd seen him around somewhere.

She looked down at the drinks in her arms, guiltiness surging through her. If he knew Basch, then he knew that Basch did not allow her near the soldier's talk, and he would surely tell him, "Yes sir."

"Get going. I don't think he wants you listening," The man jerked his head in the direction of the Brit and Ukrainians, and there was a cold look on his face, "To this."

Lili nodded, shooting the Ukrainians and Brits a glance before rushing forward, trying to get home before the drinks could turn any colder. The streets were lined in a thin ice that, if you lived here long enough, you learned how to walk across without much problem. It wasn't snowing yet, but it was bound to soon.

Even during war, Lili still felt that her town resembled something straight from a Christmas card. That's what she liked about Switzerland. Everything would stay the same, with only a few minor, minor changes, and they would be practically untouched by the war. Because they were a neutral country. Nothing like suicidal bombings would happen here.

At least, she hoped not.

As soon as she was inside the heat of her home, Lili announced, "I'm here!" before shutting the door tightly. Sitting at his desk was her brother, Basch, rubbing his temples tiredly and glaring dully at a pile of paperwork before him. He got to his feet, brushing a lock of blond hair behind his ear. Basch was a few years older than her, but only a couple of inches taller. Though not related, they still looked alike, and it was easy for others to think they were blood relatives.

"What took you so long?" Basch asked as he took the black coffee from her, eyes flickering to the window, "And thank you."

"There was a line at the coffee shop," Lili lied, hiding the bag containing Bach's gift behind her back, her other hand holding her own cup of apple cider, "And the nice man at the counter asked me how I was doing."

"What did I say about talking to strangers?" Basch's eyes were narrowed, but he didn't seem angry. Just tired. Lili bowed her head.

"I'm sorry, big brother."

"Just be careful, please," Basch reached over her to lock the door, eyes wary, "Please, Lili."

"Yes, sir," Lili nodded, before excusing herself to the kitchen. Placing a pot on the stove, Lili began gathering ingredients for soup. It was getting really cold outside. She and her brother both needed something warm. She quickly pulled the homemade cookies from the bag she had hidden and tucked them into the breadbox. Hopefully, he wouldn't look there for a piece of bread once she's cooking.

Lili fingered one of her braids, turning to look at her reflection in a small mirror that was near the front door. She thought she looked a bit odd with braids, but other times she thought she looked just fine with them. It occasionally crossed her mind to cut her hair like Basch's, so that way it would be less of a hassle, but every time she looked at the scissors sitting on her dresser she chickened out. Wasn't that a fashion now, anyways? Short hair? Choppy hair? Crazy hair? Everything seemed to be a fashion, these days. It all mattered how people looked. It made Lili feel better a tiny bit, that teens still cared about silly things like fashion and not wars.

The water in the pot started boiling and she turned away from the mirror, reaching for an onion. She needed to make soup.

* * *

 

The next day, Basch made Lili stay in all day. Lili didn't ask why, but something must have been said over the radio Basch kept in his room that Lili was not allowed to listen to. Ever. She watched the villagers go on with their business for a while until the streets cleared up, and cars began rolling through. The villagers looked a bit distressed. When Basch caught her sitting at the window, he told her to go read a book or watch TV. Just get away from the window. And stay away from them.

Lili spent the whole day reading, watching some romance movie, and lying in her bed, thinking about what it would be like in twenty years. Would there still be war? Would there still be fighting between the countries of the world, and sky attacks, and suicidal bombings? Lili really hoped there wouldn't be. But if the world didn't learn its lesson the first two times, and now a third, would they really get it by the time the fourth comes around?

That night, Lili took the scissors and cut a strand of her hair experimentally. She twirled it around her finger before letting it go, watching it drift back into place. She looked at the way it framed her cheeks, made her eyes look rounder, yet her features a bit sharper. She really liked the way it looked. But she imagined what Basch would say if she cut her hair like his. Lili looked down at the scissors, wondering why she wanted to do this, anyways. But a desire to be like her brother had taken hold of her ever since she was adopted by him and his parents. Basch was a good person, he really was, and Lili strives to be like him. When mother and father died four years ago during spring, Basch became her guardian. He was old enough, and he was doing a splendid job, even if he didn't think so.

So Lili took another strand, and snipped it.

* * *

 

"What...happened?" Basch was speechless. Lili stood before him, her hair cut in a way that was nearly exactly like his. Just the tiniest bit longer.

"Um..." Lili looked down at her feet, feeling a bit embarrassed, "I...Cut it."

"I see that," Basch sat down in his chair for a moment, rubbing his face with his hands, "Why?"

"Well, I..." Lili pursed her lips. 'Wanted to be more like you' might come across as a bit wrong. The two stood in silence for a while, until Basch gave a sigh and crossed his arms tightly.

"You're growing up," His voice was flat, but then he gave a soft laugh that sounded sad and made Lili's lip tremble unwillingly, "You're growing up and I...I can't stop that."

Lili stared down at her feet, wondering where this conversation was going, until Basch spoke up again and said,

"Lili, you're almost sixteen...and I was sixteen not too long ago...And I'm almost twenty now, and I know that...That you're curious," Basch ran a hand through his hair and Lili realized this must be incredibly stressful to him, "You're curious about the war and you're curious about the outside world and you're curious about love. But Lili, you're always going to be my little sister."

Lili wanted to cry and she didn't know why. She didn't cry very easily, but now Basch looked like he wanted to cry, and Basch never cried. Perhaps that why she didn't cry. but Basch was making it sound like she was going to leave him, and before Lili knew it she was wrapping her arms around him in a hug. They were not touchy-feely. They rarely hugged, and only occasionally said 'I love you, brother' or 'I love you, sis' to one another.

But today felt different. The air was different. Everything was a bit off.

When Lili pulled away, Basch turned his head and said he was going to go start making dinner. Lili nodded, and when he told her to run into town to buy them some bread, she did not argue. Although she didn't want to go out in the cold, she put on her coat and jogged into town.

Obviously there had been a shipment of new soldiers the day before, because the town center was crowded at the stalls, many soldiers buying food from the sellers. Switzerland acted as a sort of 'break spot' from the war-the soldiers came here for a few weeks until they were deported back to their country or to a different one to fight. It was going to cause trouble one day, but really, the Swiss government had almost no say in the matter. Rumors of Russian threats floated around, claiming that they coerced the government into allowing them access across the borders.

The new soldiers were speaking a different language. It wasn't Ukrainian, wasn't English, wasn't Russian. But it was similar to it. Men and women, most with lighter features, filled the stalls, talking rapidly and some talking harshly to the business people running the markets. Lili ducked her head low and padded into the grocery store, where bread was stored in the warm area inside. There were a couple of soldiers inside, but not very many. Lili waited in line for fresh bread, trying not to make eye contact with any of the soldiers. A majority of these soldiers, she noticed, had the seal of Colonel military ranks.

When Lili finally left with the bread, the throng of soldiers outside had grown larger and they were all chattering in that language she couldn't understand. One paused, pointed at her, and beckoned. Lili faltered in her footsteps slightly, staring at them in confusion, until a sentence of broken English was constructed.

"Hey-Lil' boy-c'mere! Boy!"

Feeling her face flush with embarrassment, Lili hurried away, tugging at her blonde locks of hair. Oh no, did she look too much like a boy? How embarrassing! Perhaps cutting her hair like Basch's was not such a good idea as she had thought.

"What took you so long?" Basch asked as soon as she threw open the door, stomping inside to shake the ice off the bottom of her boots. Lili dropped the basket on the floor and kicked off her boots, padding to her room where she threw herself on the bed and stared at the ceiling, contemplating the grave mistake she had made in cutting her hair. Was she really  _that_ flat-chested? Could they not tell she was, in fact, a young woman, not a boy? There was a hesitant knock on the closed door, and Lili sighed a "come in". It opened to reveal Basch standing there awkwardly, looking a bit stressed.

"Lili...are you okay...?" His words were awkward, as he was not used to offering her comfort like this. They never really had anything to be comforted about. Life ran smoothly for them, which was lucky. But this was a rare moment.

"Yes, big brother, I am fine," Lili said, sitting up on the bed, bringing a fist to rub at her eyes, "But I was mistaken for a boy at the market, and I kind of feel bad."

"Oh," Basch swallowed heavily, green eyes flitting around the room, looking for an answer of any kind to reply to his little sister with, "That is...unfortunate. Um...Is there...Is there anything I can do to help with that?"

Lili twirled a strand of hair around her finger, pondering for a moment, until an idea struck her. She could always ask for new clothes, feminine clothes, not just hand-me-downs from Basch, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings. Truth be told, she thought the clothes looked rather ugly on her, but when she thought about how expensive clothes were these days due to the war, she shook her head, only to nod again.

"Yeah...I guess there is something you can do," Lili let go of the lock of hair before smiling up at Basch, "Maybe buy a ribbon or a flower for my hair?"

Basch paused, brows furrowed together, before pursing his lips and nodding. Lili felt her heart sink a little and she opened her mouth, prepare to shoot out an 'oh, you don't have to!' but Basch held up a hand and said,

"If you really want to...Fine."

Lili felt a smile creep onto her face and she got up from her bed, hugging Basch around the middle and pressing her face into his chest.

"Thank you, big broth-"

_BANG._

Lili winced, eyes wide, yanking herself away from Basch as the sound resonated, and her head snapped towards the window in shock. Another loud  _bang_  followed and as it did Basch forced her to the ground, hand placed firmly on her shoulder. A third  _bang_  seemed to pound at the inside of Lili's skull as she crouched low. The terrified screams of villagers from outside mingled with shouting in that unfamiliar language.

A barrage of loud bangs suddenly followed, directly after one another, and the whole town seemed to panic. Shapes flitted past the window and Lili felt fear creep up through her, causing her to shudder. Gunshots, they were gunshots.

There were no more bangs, but the villagers were still screaming. Finally, a loud, official-sounding voice shouted,

" _Go back in your homes, now! Soldiers, drop your weapons!_ "

The screaming voices died down after fifteen long minutes, in which Basch told Lili to crawl under the bed as he himself took his gun from where it hung on the wall, standing near the door. The official-sounding voice was shouting again, but this time, in that language Lili could not place.

"Russian," Basch spoke after a moment, and Lili's neck craned up to see him with his eyes closed, looking disturbed, "They're Russian soldiers."

Lili felt her nails digging unwillingly into the wood of the floor, shoulders hunched up all the way to her ears, dress becoming dusted with dirt and dust from being under the bed. Russian? She'd heard the most violent soldiers came from Russia, that Russia was a place of terror...What were they doing in Switzerland?

Lili curled into herself as the hours drew on and the shouting voice never faltered. The stars were already shining bright by the time the voice drifted off and the screams of several soldiers (whom Lili guessed had been hit or beaten harshly) faded. Basch said it was okay for her to come out from under the bed, but Lili wished she could just stay under it forever. Just until the war ended. Just until everything was back to normal.

When they ate dinner that night, neither of them said anything about the gunshots.

Neither of them wanted to speak.

* * *

The Ukrainian soldiers standing in a line on the edge of town caused more trouble than they did good. Nearly a year had passed since Lili cut her hair, since that one fateful night in which two Russians had pulled a gun on several British and American soldiers. Eight months since the threats from China grew and now several countries were under the protection of the United Force.

Lili had begun to see life as the way it really was-black and white. Before, there had been shades of gray, but now, she wasn't so sure. Everything just seemed to be either black or white. She realized the neutral countries weren't even neutral, but under the protection of the United Force. They were on the white side. They were not the gray in between.

It was common for fights to break out with the Ukrainians and the civilians. The Ukrainians would demand the ID's the civilians had been given months ago, and if they failed to show any, they would immediately be sent away-with or without a beating depended on the soldier.

Lili had narrowly escaped a thrashing twice. The first time, an older woman had raced up to her just as things were about to get violent and shouted she had dropped her identification on the ground. The second time, Basch had been with her, and as the soldier's eyes glinted darkly he procured the ID's required with his head bowed and fists curled. He was just as unhappy with this new arrangement as Lili was.

But now, this time, Lili was in trouble. She had left her identification at home and now the Ukrainian was screaming at her. He didn't look ready to get violent, but one never knew. Two boys and their mother awkwardly swept pass, flashing their own identification, and the older boy covered the younger one's eyes. Lili stared down at her feet, only understanding less than half of what the soldier was screaming.

In the near year, Lili had finally hit puberty and everything was suddenly awkward. Her voice cracked at random moments and she finally moved up slightly in bra size. Granted, she was still mistaken for a male sometimes, but it was a tiny, tiny improvement from before. She regularly cut her hair to keep it the same length, as she had rather grown fond of the hairstyle-besides, it didn't stick to her face and neck if she were to sweat.

The ribbon in her hair mingling with the odd assortment of male's clothing probably made her looks suspicious to the Ukrainian soldier, but there wasn't any way Lili could fix that. Basch was extremely tight with money in case they needed it for real in the war time, when food or water could run low. Slightly baggy overalls, old button up light blue shirt, a pair of Basch's boots that fit her feet embarrassingly. Either she had large feet or his were embarrassingly small for a man.

Lili nodded along to whatever the tall man was saying, not wanting to look up and make eye contact in case it was mistaken as a sign of aggression. However, the soldier seemed to take her lack of eye contact as an insult as he forced her chin up with his hand painfully fast.

"You listening?" He shouted in German, his pronunciation horribly off, but Lili understood the gist of it and nodded. However, he didn't believe her.

"Who you?" His finger was jabbed into her chest and she gave a small wince, "Show identification! I not seen you 'round here before!"

"M-Mister," Lili stammered, feeling her heart pound as his hand jumped to his belt, where he kept his gun, "Mister, I pass through this a-area everyday, I just f-forgot my identif-"

Her sentence was cut short by the handle of the gun striking down on her forehead, no doubt leaving a scratch on her forehead. Lili fell to the floor, palm jumping up to the bleeding mark as white spots appeared in her eyesight. The Ukrainian towered over her, and Lili cursed the fact that nearly every single one of these soldiers had to be so  _tall_.

"Please, sir," Lili said, trying not to sound beseeching, but as he raised his gun again she realized that she was very much screwed.

There was a yelp and the soldier was shoved aside by a flash of silver, and when Lili looked up to see her savior she was blinded by the sun shining directly in her face. Her eyes clenched shut before a shadow stood in front of the sun, blocking its rays from hitting her eyes, and she slowly blinked them open.

The soldier was talking in the language she did not understand- the language that the newer soldiers that had come here only a few weeks ago were not British nor Ukrainian, nor Russian-they had been different. The language sounded similar to Ukrainian and Russian, but it was different at the same time.

The soldier was a woman with long silvery hair that glinted in the sunlight, face shadowed and the new soldier's uniform draped over her body in a way that made her look beautiful and yet, deadly. Dark blue eyes that seemed almost violent with the way her head was angled, snowy skin that most likely didn't see daylight often.

"I...I...I didn't...I'm s-sorry," Lili stammered, her words mixing from German to short bouts of what little Ukrainian she knew. Hopefully, the woman understood her. With a sigh, the soldier bowed her head, brows furrowing, lips thinned into a tight line. She seemed to be thinking hard for a moment, and Lili couldn't help but admire that she looked very strong and formidable-more so than she could ever look.

" _Ich nicht Deutsch spreche_ ," Her German was off, horrible, but it was better than the Ukrainian from before. The pained expression on her face from forming the words was obvious, " _Englisch_?"

Lili gave a sigh of relief, feeling extremely happy that she had been saved from a beating. A friend of hers had gotten the short end of the stick the other day and probably wouldn't be leaving his house for the next few months due to his injuries. Lili brought a palm up to her forehead once again, pressing against the damage that had been done, mind racing at a million miles per hour. How was she supposed to thank the soldier for this? She felt incredibly grateful, as no one else had come to her rescue while he was shouting.

The woman started looking irritated with her lack of response, but it was when Lili spoke up in English did her face relax ever so slightly.

"Yes-English-I speak English-" Lili's words rushed out in a train wreck of speech, getting to her feet, cursing her voice for cracking, "Th-thank you miss, I'm s-so sorry-"

"Do not think anything of it," The soldier said, holding up a hand to cut her off, face plastered with a look of detachment from emotion, "I have seen you here before. I know you are the real thing."

"Oh," Was all Lili could think to say, but the woman's eyes traveled up to her forehead before her forehead creased. The Ukrainian who had hit Lili got to his feet, sending a glowering look towards the woman, who shouted at him harshly in that language Lili did not know. When the Ukrainian sprinted away, Lili felt her vocal cords acting on their own again.

"Thank you, miss," Lili breathed, but the woman did not look happy at all, "Thank you, thank you, thank-"

"You should not leave the house without identification," The woman cut her off again, eyes still trained on the damage done to her head, "You need to get that fixed. Follow me."

"I-I-I-...Yes, ma'am," Lili stammered, tumbling after the woman, her shoes suddenly feeling too big and the shirt too tight. They marched past a line of soldiers, the woman's military coat billowing in the wind that was blowing. It was nearing January, and the air was freezing. Lili had, unfortunately, left her jacket at home.

"What is your name?" The woman asked, but before Lili could answer she stated, "Last name only. We're not on first-name terms, here."

"I...I, uh, Zwingli," Lili spouted out, taking her hand off her forehead to examine the coat of blood on her skin. It was drying fast due to the cold, wintry air. The woman paused for a moment, before continuing on.

"Arlovskaya," Her accent was not as thick as the other soldiers, and there was a bow threading through her ponytail.

"Hello, Miss Arlovskaya," Lili panted, finding the woman's pace to be unreasonably fast.

"Goddamn Ukrainians," Arlovskaya seemed to be muttering to herself, fists clenched as they stomped past the villagers, "We want these people to trust us, not hate us, honestly…"

"Your English is very good," Lili commented, her words spilling out, but receiving no reply. When in situations in which she did not know what to do, she turned to default-Talk. Talk with no filter at all on her words.

They soon stopped outside the tents pitched near the edge of town, which housed the soldiers, medics, and commanders while stationed here. Arlovskaya ducked inside and Lili stopped, sure she was not allowed in. After a few seconds, Arlovskaya came back out, the air of authority she held diminished slightly. She looked a bit tired.

In her hands were rubbing alcohol and a roll of gauze, and she ordered Lili to sit down. Lili complied, not wanting to make another soldier angry today, but the ground nearly froze her bottom off when she plopped down. The rubbing alcohol stung her forehead, but Lili was used to it. As a child, she had enjoyed rolling down the hill a little ways from the orphanage, which resulted in many cuts and scrapes that needed tending to.

"For God's sake," Arlovskaya said when she finished dabbing the alcohol, beginning to wrap the gauze around Lili's head, "It might scar, might not. Try not mention to your parents it was a fucking soldier who gave it to you."

"What am I supposed to say then?" Lili asked, staring up at Arlovskaya. Her face looked grim as she pondered the question for a minute, before saying,

"Say it was an accident or something. You look smart. Get creative, kid. We want the people of this country to trust us in order for us to work with them. That ain't gonna work if you go blabbing your mouth saying a soldier hit you."

"I think it's too late for us to trust you," Lili spilled out, "Your men have already beaten up a bunch of people I-"

"They're not _my_  men," Arlovskaya hissed between her teeth, eyes set on her work, "They wouldn't do that. That's putting our mission under stress."

"Well, the Ukrainians aren't very nice," Lili sighed, staring down at her hands. This woman had saved her from a soldier, and wrapped up her wound in a matter of minutes. She reminded her a bit of Basch with her attitude, but that just made Arlovskaya a bit easier to talk to than she would feel around other soldiers.

"Did you suddenly go mute?" Arlovskaya asked as she straightened up, pocketing the rest of the gauze. Lili looked up, realizing that Arlovskaya was finished. Lili got to her feet at once, running her fingers through her hair to fix it. With a start she realized her ribbon was not in hair. She must have forgotten to put it on…

A sudden, panicked thought crossed Lili's mind. Could the woman tell she was a girl? Or did she still look much like a boy? Lili forced the panic down. She shouldn't worry about that right now. What she should worry about is that her feet seemed glued to the floor as Arlovskaya stared at her expectantly. She must have just asked Lili a question or something, because she seemed to be awaiting an answer.

"I-I...What?" Lili stammered, face turning bright red at her own stupidity. She shouldn't be worrying if this woman knew if she was a girl or not, when she just sort of kind of maybe saved her life!

"I asked," Arlovskaya repeated slowly, "If you need me to walk you home in case trouble occurs again."

"No," Lili spewed, shaking her head, "No, I'm good, thank you ma'am, thank you very much."

Arlovskaya gave a stiff nod before turning swiftly on her heel, silvery hair flashing in the light of the sun. Lili felt her legs regain feeling and she suddenly bolted after Arlovskaya, shouting,

"What do I look like to you?"

"Excuse me?" Arlovskaya spun around, looking irritated. Lili froze, surprised at her impulse and the fact that she even acted on it, before repeating,

"What do I look like to you?"

Arlovskaya glared at Lili for a second before sighing and sweeping her eyes over her, lips thinning once again.

"You look like a kid from a family where you only get hand me downs and one meal a day. Outdoorsy type. Why?"

"I know, I know...But…" Lili trailed off, wondering how to word her question, but Arlovskaya's face suddenly slackened slightly and she sighed,

"You look like a girl, if that's what you mean."

Lili froze, before smiling widely and bowing her head slightly, saying, "Thank you, miss! For saving me and saying I look like a girl."

"I…" Arlovskaya trailed off as Lili bounded away, intent on telling Basch about what had just happened with the woman.

* * *

**I'm not happy with how this chapter ended but I'm too lazy to rewrite .**


	2. Zwei

Basch remained indifferent to Lili recounting the tale of Arlovskaya patching up her wound, and saying she did indeed look like a girl, which had lifted Lili’s spirits extravagantly. She talked rather animatedly, waving her hands to enthuse something every now and then. When Lili finally finished telling the story, final sentence trailing off, all Basch had to ask was,

“But who gave you the wound in the first place?”

His voice was deadly, calm, but Lili had already thought of a cover, a lie to spew when asked the very question he just did.

“A cat,” She said, and felt confidence swell within her. Everything seemed suddenly ten times better. She had gone today without wearing her pink jacket and her ribbon, and someone told her she still looked like a girl. She was floating, on a cloud. She felt infinite.

“So...A soldier saw you get scratched by a cat…” Basch said slowly, arms crossed, eyes narrowed, and Lili’s balloon of confidence deflated slightly, “And decided to patch you up?”

“I told you she was nice,” Lili responded, holding her hands behind her back, trying not to look her older brother in the eye, “Very nice. And very pretty.”

Basch cocked an eyebrow at the last part, but Lili didn’t care. To be complimented (sort of) by a pretty woman or a handsome man always made her feel better. She didn’t really know why. Or, maybe she did. She just didn’t know how to explain it. Basch suddenly gave a sigh, drawing Lili’s attention from her thoughts back to him.

“Well, let’s hope the cat’s claws weren’t infected. Did you at least get the milk?”

Lili felt her heart sink.

“Oh, I’m s-sorry, big br-”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Basch waved his hand, suddenly looking anxious. He leaned to his left slightly to peer out the window, drawing the curtains back a little bit. The setting sun illuminated his face for a brief second before he snapped it shut again, “We’ll make do with water, okay? It won’t taste as good, but it’s something.”

“Yes, bruder,” Lili said, in a tiny bit of disappointment-directed at herself and the fact the cheese soup he was going to make wouldn’t include milk, which made it so much better, in Lili’s opinion.

“Now, go to your room, and read,” Basch commanded, his voice suddenly taking on authority, “Or draw. Or something. Don’t look out the window.”

“Yes, bruder.”

Basch gave her a very awkward one-armed hug before shuffling over to the window again, drawing the curtain open very slightly. Lili swept into her room, shrugging on her jacket, as the house was cold. They had chosen not to blast the heater until nighttime to save money. Lili sat down at the edge of her bed and pulled out a very old book Basch had given her last year. It was her favorite book so far-The Tale of Despereaux. It was about an unusual mouse with a sense of adventure who fell in love with a human princess, whom the rest of the mouses are supposed to fear, but Despereaux just can’t.

Lili had read it eleven times and counting.

But tonight, however, she only read half a page until she set the book down, her anxiety spiking. Every time Basch told her not to look out the window, or don’t open the door, she always seemed to end up doing so anyways. Lili took a deep breath, before stopping, listening. She could hear Basch’s footsteps on the landing, walking downstairs. She gave a long sigh before getting to her feet, setting the old book down.

It was an intense moment, even though all Lili needed to do was cross the room and simply pull the curtain back a little. But she found it hard to move her feet. What could be bad this time that Basch didn’t want her to see? The first time Lili looked out the window when Basch told her not to, all she saw was a silver flash shooting across the sky, leaving behind a trail of smoke. The second time, carts were being wheeled into the town. Lili had thought they were just ordinary carts, but when suddenly a bundle fell off a cart that stopped abruptly, and Lili could see a bloodied hand hanging loosely from the bundle, she realized it was dead people.

They had been carrying dead people into town.

Now, Lili finally made those small, dangerous steps to the window, before gripping the faded curtains slightly and sliding them back. The window was frosted over, but she could clearly see what was going on outside.

Jeeps. Jeeps rolling into town on the faded, white stony path, carrying bundles and crates. Soldiers walking alongside-Ukrainian, judging by the uniform. Every single one of them held guns. Lili felt a slight spike of fear at the sight of the weapons, being within fifty feet of her front door-so close, too close for her liking. Too close for Basch’s liking. A Ukrainian’s head suddenly turned to her, and she froze. Their eyes made contact, and the expression that crossed the soldier’s face shot fear through Lili and she close the curtains hastily, taking several steps away from the window like it might explode.

She didn’t look out the window again that night.

* * *

The next day in town, Lili was with Basch. Basch had decided that he was going to actually enjoy the weather today (as well as brought their identification, as Lili seemed to be terrible at remembering to take them with her) and the two were currently in the market, Basch’s hand gripped on hers tightly. Not that Lili was complaining. The new Ukrainians in town seemed stiff and cold, and Basch had hastily tugged her away from where two of them were screaming at an American harshly.

“Can we get sugar, bruder?” Lili asked, looking at the special table set up near the back, where everything seemed to be selling out fast. Basch stiffened slightly as he looked at the price, and Lili automatically felt guilty.

“N-no, you don’t have to get any, I w-was just-!”

“It’s fine, Lili. Not today, maybe tomorrow.” Basch said, looking away from her. His face seemed to be turning pink. Lili gave a small nod and the woman behind the table smiled at her.

“Have you ever had a spoonful of sugar?” She asked kindly, and Lili pointed to her chest.

“Me?”

The woman nodded.

Lili shook her head.

The woman gave another smile and reached into a wooden box near her feet, extracting a plastic spoon and scooping a decent size of sugar onto it. She offered it to Lili. Lili gasped.

“No, I c-can’t, no thank you, sugar is becoming h-harder to get by, really, don’t w-waste it on me!”

“I’m not wasting it, I’m offering it,” The woman said, and Lili gave a small gulp before taking the spoon hesitantly. She placed it inside her mouth and licked the sugar off, sucking the sweet, sugary particles before sliding the spoon back out of her mouth.

It was delicious. It was wonderful.

She almost cried when the taste left her mouth when she swallowed.

“Thank you,” Lili told the woman, and the woman smiled again. Basch nodded his thanks as well and led her to the bread aisle, muttering something about needing more of it.

“Basch, do you think you can make goat cheese again?” Lili asked, watching him look over the different choices of bread. Basch paused for a moment before saying,

“Monch is getting very old. I don’t think she can produce milk like before.”

“Oh,” Lili said, “That’s okay. I was just-”

A shout rang throughout the market, and several people looked up. The shout came from the front of the market, and the people up there ducked, or dropped to the floor. The people near Lili got the same idea and got to the floor as well. Lili craned her neck upwards to see why, but Basch’s hand forced her down in a flash, and they crashed to the floor together. The shout rang out again.

“ _Food! I need food!_ ”

It was a man, an older gentleman with a faded blue coat and a gun in hand. A gun that looked very familiar.

It was the same kind of gun Lili had seen the Ukrainians holding the day before.

The man walked closer and closer, grabbing items off shelves and tables and slipping them into his pockets, mainly fruit or vegetables. He reached the bread aisle, and pointed his gun directly at Basch, who was hovering above Lili protectively. Lili tensed up at the same time Basch did, but the man returned his attention to the shelves, where he tucked a loaf under his arm. He spun around and began to scale the next aisle. A child began crying.

Suddenly, shouts in a foreign language echoed around the dead silent market, and several footsteps thundered throughout. Lili was practically pressed flat the ground by now by Basch, who’s breathing was becoming more and more erratic. Four soldiers, two Ukrainians, a Brit, and, Lili recognized, Arlovskaya, were approaching the man. The man gave a shout at them, and Arlovskaya raised her own gun. It was smaller than his, but the intimidating aura around her seemed to freeze everything.

“Drop the gun,” She said calmly, accented voice piercing, “Now.”

“I need food!” The man sobbed, lowering the gun slightly, “For my family!”

“You came in without any identification papers. You stole a gun from a soldier. You are now robbing a supermarket. You have threatened the safety of others by shoving a weapon you are not authorized to carry in their faces.” Arlovskaya clicked the bullet into place, her face dangerous. Basch’s hand, shaking slightly, slipped over Lili’s eyes. She didn’t protest. Her heart was beating loudly.

“Give me a reason for me not to kill you on the spot. You almost killed that soldier.”

The man gave a loud cry, and there was a clatter. Calm footsteps stepped closer, and Arlovskaya’s voice said,

“Get up, you pig. “

He sobbed again.

Three pairs of footsteps lead away from them, followed by an awkward German sentence said from a heavily accented voice.

And then it was silent again.

Basch took the hand away from her eyes, and got to his feet, pulling her to her own. Lili turned around at once to see if Arlovskaya was still there, but the woman was halfway across the store, bending down to help an older woman get back onto her feet.

“Brother, that is the woman who helped me,” Lili said, pointing at the silver head of Arlovskaya.

“Don’t point. That’s not polite,” Basch said, his voice low. His grip on her hand never faltered. “Let’s go home, Lili. Now.”

Lili looked up at him, and his face seemed blank. But his eyes were troubled.

“Can I at least say….Hello?”

Basch did not answer. He pulled her away from the aisle, and straight for the market doors, footsteps urgent and quick. Lili stared at Arlovskaya as they passed by, and when the soldier looked up, their eyes met briefly. Arlovskaya’s brow furrowed slightly, and Lili wanted to say something, but Basch was tugging her out the door.

“We’re going home,” Basch said, voice louder than it had been in the store, “You are not to look out the windows. We’re going to watch a movie or something. Okay?”

“Yes, brother,” Lili said, deciding it was best to not argue.

The wintry air became colder as the first stars peeked out from above, passing by the line of soldiers that stood outside the town, asking for identification. The soldier whom asked was a nicer American with terrible German, so Basch spoke to them in English.

“Aw, dude, you speak English?” The American said with a relieved sighed, “Oh, that’s great. Yeah, I’ll need to see some ID papers.”

Basch handed them to the American, who gave them a quick scan before handing them back, smiling.

“Have a good day!”

Basch nodded, snatching the papers back, and together, they left the town.

“If only all soldiers were nice like them,” Lili said after the silence carried on for quite a while, thinking about Arlovskaya and the American.

“They may be nice now, but they’re dangerous on the battlefield,” Basch said, voice stiff, “If they’ve managed to survive this long.”

Lili flinched at his choice of words.

Everybody knew the war was brutal. Everyone knew there were almost twice the amount of catastrophes from World War Two. But Lili just couldn’t picture it, because Switzerland, for the most part, was peaceful, was nice, and it did not seem at all like there was a war being fought right now in Ukraine, or in China, or in France. That the various battles being fought worldwide did not seem to reach their country of tranquility.

But there were, of course, the soldiers. The soldiers reminding them that there was a war. The soldiers passing through town to get to Poland, where a war camp was, where many soldiers with horribly disfiguring scars or mental illnesses or such caused by the war were being carted off to.

The soldiers guarding the town, to guard it from threat.

The soldiers reminded Lili, that the world was very unsafe right now.

And that the world was horrible and awful.

But when she looked out the window at the mountains, she forgot about that long enough to think of the American, and Arlovskaya.

It may be a horrible point in time, but at least the people were still nice.

* * *

 

Water from the well. Basch wouldn’t have it any other way. So when Lili climbed up the hill about a kilometer away from their house, bucket swinging, she was in a slightly irked mood. She always thought it was less of a hassle if they just went to the market and bought bottled water that could last them at least two weeks instead of a few days with a mere bucket of water that they couldn’t even drink right away-it had to be boiled first.

And, imagine Lili’s face, when she saw Arlovskaya atop of the very hill she was climbing.

The soldier was sitting on the nearly-frozen grass, dressed in a heavy coat. Her hair was not in a ponytail today, but loose, with a bow on top of her head. Lili realized the bow must be the ribbon that had been threading through her hair a few days before.

“What are you doing here?” Lili asked curiously as she approached the snowy-skinned woman. Arlovskaya opened one eye and glanced towards Lili, before opening her other eye.

“All I knew was that there’s a hill here with a well. I didn’t know anybody actually still used it.” Arlovskaya slowly got to her feet, brushing the dirt off of her coat, “I will be taking my leave now.”

“No! It’s fine, you don’t have to leave!” Lili said quickly, setting the bucket down, “Me and my big brother are really the only ones who use it, he likes the water from the well better, he doesn’t really like the bottled water because he…”

Lili trailed off when she realized she was talking too much again. Arlovskaya’s eyebrow was raised.

“Because he what?” She asked, and Lili swallowed before saying quieter,

“He says the plastic the water is in makes it taste really bad.”

“Huh,” Arlovskaya hummed, and Lili was a little relieved when she saw Arlovskaya slowly sit back down again. “That’s a new one.”

Lili blinked, before sitting down herself. After all, her legs were a little tired from climbing the hill, and it wasn’t like she was in a big hurry to get water, anyways. Basch could wait.

“Why are you out here?” Lili asked, “Instead of in town?”

Arlovskaya did not answer her. Lili suddenly realized she was probably being very bothersome right now, disturbing a soldier while they were apparently taking a break. She almost got to her feet again with an apology when Arlovskaya suddenly said,

“My superior is being an asshole. And I need to get away from all those idiots. It’s peaceful here.”

“Oh,” Was all Lili had to say, not really expecting such a straightforward answer. Arlovskaya’s eyes opened again and stared off into the distance, eyes glazed slightly.

“The scenery is very pretty,” Arlovskaya said after a while, before suddenly jolting, snapping her head to look at Lili, as if just remembering she was there. Lili smiled at her.

“Yes, it is. I really like the Swiss scenery.”

Arlovskaya gave her a suspicious look, before eyeing the bucket next to her.

“Aren’t you here for water or something?”

Lili felt her face flush.

“I-w-well, you just looked very-I mean, I w-will leave now if you want, it’s n-no problem, I can-”

“I didn’t say for you to leave,” Arlovskaya’s voice cut through hers like a knife, “I was simply asking a question. You get flustered too easily.”

This only caused Lili’s face to flush even more.

Arlovskaya smirked.

“My point exactly,” She said. Lili looked down at her lap, suddenly feeling very awkward. What was she even doing here? She was definitely annoying Arlovskaya. Arlovskaya didn’t need some kid to-

“What were you doing at the market?” Arlovskaya asked suddenly. Lili looked up, eyes wide.

“What?”

“I said,” Arlovskaya sighed, “What were you doing at the market?”

“O-oh!” Lili sputtered, cursing herself silently for stuttering so much recently, “My brother Basch a-and I were buying groceries for dinner th-that night.”

Arlovskaya only stared at Lili before shaking her head and sighing. Lili watched the older woman close her eyes before asking,

“C-can I ask how old are you?”

Lili froze, cursing herself once again, this time for her stupidity. Why did she just keep talking? Why couldn’t she keep her mouth shut?”

“Nineteen,” Arlovskaya said, “I just turned nineteen.”

“Oh,” Lili said quietly. Arlovskaya turned her head to face Lili.

“What about you?”

“Oh, m-me? I just turned sixteen, a couple of months ago,” Lili said, gripping the edge of her dress. Her bottom was getting soaked from the frozen grass, but it was warm enough outside for it to not freeze.

The silence was becoming so heavy and awkward that Lili finally got to her feet, picking up the bucket before lowering it into the well. Arlovskaya was watching.

“What is your name?”

Lili was caught off guard with the question, her grip on the rope that was lowering the bucket slipping slightly, but she regained her hold on it and continued lowering it.

“Lili,” Lili answered, and was met with silence, until she heard quietly,

“Natalia.”

“Natalia? That’s your name?” Lili looked at the soldier, eyes wide in slight wonder, “That is a very pretty name. I like it.”  
Natalia did not respond.

“I have a question, miss,” Lili asked as she began bringing the bucket back up, “Why is a very pretty woman like you in the military?”

There was a pause, and then a laugh from Natalia. Lili watched as she got to her feet, and although she had laughed a second before, her face looked like stone.

“I think it’s time for me to go back,” Natalia said, and turned away, not sparing Lili a glance. Lili suddenly realized she had probably asked a question that was better left unasked.

Carrying the bucket back home, several feet behind Natalia, Lili watched the soldier walk briskly to the border of town, back straight as an arrow. Lili turned to walk up the path to her house, but stopped when she noticed another movement out of the corner of her eye.

It was Natalia. She was waving at Lili.

Lili didn’t know what else to do.

So she waved back.

 


	3. Drei

  Lili’s school was brought back in session when her teacher finally got an Internet connection. Ever since the war, going to an actual school has been harder and harder and more expensive to do, with resources like paper becoming more and more scarce. So the alternative? Online school.  
  
However, Lily hadn't been on in months-her teacher (and, the only person Basch trusted to educate Lili) lived in Hungary, and therefore, many times she was unable to reach her computer or she had no WiFi, mostly likely because they were recovering from the Budapest and  Bekescsaba bombings. Budapest was where her teacher lived, but the Bekescsaba bombing must have affected her too, it being an important city for railroad and agriculture-which means the economy must have suffered greatly.  
  
But now, receiving the alert for the chatroom request when she opened up her laptop, Lili saw that Miss Elizabeta was back in action. After staring in shock at the invitation for a few moments, she gleefully clicked on the chat icon-and found that most of her other classmates were there too.  
  
It was a small, hodgepodge class-There was Alexis, whom Lili had mistaken for a girl the first few months she knew him; there was Raivis, a Latvian boy whom had fled to Lithuania after Latvia was attacked (Lili couldn’t help but always feel pity for him); Peter, a Sealandic boy who was quite proud of being from the small country; Hugo, a Swedish boy with a strange scar across his face;Marco, an Italian, older student who never went to school much like Maverick and Thomas-Maverick from America and Thomas from Australia.  
  
The only people missing were Michelle from Seychelles and Siena, also from Australia.  
  
“Where is Siena?” Lili questioned as soon as she said hello to everyone, knowing full well why Michelle wasn’t here anymore and choosing not to open that can of discussion. Thomas looked sad at the mention of the young girl.  
  
“She got sick. Real sick, hospital and everything,” he answered, and did not futrher elaborate.   
  
“Oh,” was all Lili could think to say. She didn’t know what to say to people she hasn’t seen in seven months.   
  
“That’s enough talk of that!” A familiar voice said. The smiling face of Elizabeta, beaming up them, and marred by deep burns on the upper left portion of her face would have freaked Lili out before, but at this point, with watching so many injured soldiers pass through to get to Poland, Lili wasn’t even surprised looking at the scar tissue forming over the wound. She’d seen far worse.  
  
“Lili, how are you?” Elizabeta asked ecstatically, not bothering to mention the wound and Lili not bothering to ask. If Elizabeta wanted to tell, she would tell.  
  
“I’m fine, thank you,” Lili answered, though not completely honestly, “There’s been more and more soldiers passing through here. A lot of injured ones. Do you think Hungarian soldiers could be passing through too?”  
  
“No, all the injured ones are going through Austria to get to the Czech Republic, then Poland, since Slovakia closed their borders,” Elizabeta answered, sounding as if she had repeated this information many times already, "Though Slovenia might set up a checkpoint also, since Poland is getting full.”  
  
Lili nodded, settling more comfortably on her bed. Poland was sort of a refuge, a safe spot, for injured soldiers, soldiers that needed help, to be isolated, to be away from the war, to be alone. Basch said there were hospitals and camps set up there for the soldiers to recover, and when everything was over they would all eventually go home. Lili hoped that would be soon, because nearly every night she thought of those poor men and women and teens who wanted to go home but were stuck in Poland with maybe an arm or a leg missing, or horribly scarred beyond recognition.  
  
And then Lili imagined what Natalia or Basch would look like if they ended up like that, and she had shivered, because it was such a terrifying thought. Lili tried not to think about those kinds of things at night, but the thoughts seemed inescapable.  
  
“Alright guys, we’re setting aside our normal Math and Reading,” Elizabeta said aftwe everyone had finished catching up, receiving joyous exclaims from the eight of them, “And instead we’re going to talk about the war.”  
  
Only to be replaced with groans.  
  
“Hey, this is important. You have to know why everything is the way it is, you’ve got to tell your children one day,” Elizabeta snapped, glaring up at them with a bright green eye and single a lidded, dull one, “Because one day, we might be nothing more than a memory, little whisps of imagination and thought.  And that memory needs to be passed on, because it’s an important one.”  
  
“So let’s review with what we already know. Peter. Who’s in the Allied Force?” Elizabeta addressed the Sealandic boy, who's face lit up.  
  
“America, Britain, Ireland, Australia, Germany, Italy, Japan, South Korea...” Peter counted off his fingers, “France, Belgium, Poland, Slovenia, Hungary, Romania, Ukraine. I think...Turkey and Iran. Seychelles?”  
  
“Not Seychelles.”  
  
“Oh! Uh….Denmark?”  
  
“Right. You’re missing five more. Hugo, hit me with what you’ve got!” Elizabeta said, turning her gaze to the red-haired tween.  
  
“Finland, Canada, Brazil, and….Uhhhh….” Hugo seemed to be struggling with the last one, sentence dragging out.  
  
“Belarus?” Lili suggested, thinking of Natalia and that language Basch said they spoke-she must be from Belarus, right?  
  
“Sort of, yes. While they’ve been vacated because of the nuclear hits and fled to Ukraine and Lithuania, a large part of the population has formed the Belarusian army,” Elizabeta said, before cocking her head to the side curiously, “How’d you know that Belarus was part of the Allied Force? It’s not a very well-known fact that they joined.”  
  
“Oh,” Lili said, caught a bit off-guard by the question, “Well, there’s a few Belarusian soldiers here, so I just...Assumed, that Belarus was a part of it.”  
  
“Good assumption,” Elizabeta leaned forward, eye scanning the faces of each of her students with interest,  “Who can tell me who’s a part of the Oppressing States?”  
  
“I caaaaan!” Marco exclaimed, looking happy as he bounced up and down, “China, North Korea, Russia, Georgia, Mongolia, Indonesia, India, Kazakhstan, Croatia...I think Iran?”  
  
“No, not Iran.”  
  
“Iraq?”  
  
“Nope!” Elizabeta shook her head.  
  
“Vietnam….?”  
  
“Yep!” Elizabeta cheered, “You’re forgetting two, come on!”  
  
“I know!” Maverick cut in, looking smug, “Malaysia and Thailand!”  
  
“Not Thailand.”  
  
“Damn it!” Maverick cursed, sinking out of sight.  
  
“Philippines,” Alexis spoke up, threading his fingers through long white hair with a look of utter boredom on his face.  
  
"Correct!" Elizabeta smiled, "How ya holdin' up, Lex? Still taking art classes?"  
  
Alexis shrugged, mkstly brushing off her question.  
  
“Aaaaaand can anyone tell me who hasn’t chosen a side?” Elizabeta asked when Alexis didn't answerz though she had barely even finished her sentence when Thomas shouted “ME!”  
  
“Alright, Thomas, go ahead," Elizsbeta nodded to the older student.  
  
“New Zealand, Thailand, Bulgaria, Moldova,  Latvia, Estonia, Taiwan, Pakistan, Greece, Colombia, Mexico, Spain, the Netherlands, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria, Liechtenstein, Finland!” Thomas listed in a single breath, ever the show-off.   
  
“That’s good,” Elizabeta smiled, giving them all praise, “Very good. Can some of you list supplies that have gone down?”  
  
“Oil and gas,” Came a chorus of voices, as it was the most obvious fact.  
  
“What else?”  
  
“Coal,” Marco said, looking confident with his answer.  
  
“And?”  
  
“Sugar,” Lili put in, thinking back to the very first time she had tried sugar in a spoon a week ago, and it sparked that pleasant memory, “I had some just last week, for the first time. A whole spoonful.”  
  
There was a shocked silence of disbelief, and nobody spoke. Nothing was said until Raivis asked,  
  
“What was it like?”  
  
Lili was suddenly bombarded with questions by the others and she felt her cheeks heat up slightly. She hadn’t meant to draw so much attention to herself with such a simple statement!  
  
“Well...It was very sweet,” Was all Lili could think to say, “But I didn’t get to savor the taste much. An armed man attempted to rob the store, and it practically drove the taste out of my mind. But I wouldn’t mind trying it again.”  
  
There was a long silence, filled with each of the classmates exchanging looks with each other over the screen. Peter’s face was glitching every now and then, so he must have been using a HoloBoard-basically small tablets that projected holographic images, they were known for being faulty and having the battery power of barely lasting an hour before dying. Lili had given up on using hers years ago and instead did it the old-fashioned way--laptop camera.  
  
“I’ve always wanted to try a spoonful of sugar,” Marco said thoughtfully, breaking the heavy silence, “And I would have. But ever since Feliciano ran away to Germany and Lovino joined the army, I don’t think Grandfather would be able to handle another crisis if I went and tried to steal a bag of sugar. Again. He doesn’t need another son becoming a hardened criminal.”  
  
Nobody had anything to say to that, and soon, the awkward class disbanded, first with Hugo stating he had to go help around the house before disconnecting, then Alexis abruptly leaving without telling anyone where he was going off to. After Thomas left to go to bed, the rest of the class decided they might as well leave too.  
  
“I missed talking to you, Lili,” Elizabeta said when it was just the two of them in the chat, her face looking genuinely sad. With her face now enlarged since she was the only person in the chat, Lili could clearly see the burns scarring her forehead and eyebrow and eye, the lifelessness of that single dull green staring back at her. Before she could stop herself, Lili asked,  
  
“Why don’t you wear an eyepatch?”  
  
Lili froze once she realized what she had said, and immediately felt guilty. “I’m sorry, so very sorry, I didn’t mean to be-”  
  
“No, no, it’s fine,” Elizabeta cut her off, sighing and brushing a few brown strands of hair out of her face, “I should have thought to put one on or something before showing my face to a bunch of kids.”  
  
Lili tried not to find much insult in being called ‘a bunch of kids' as she shifted in her seat again.  
  
“But this mark,” Elizabeta waved her palm over her face, eyes darkening considerably as she did this, “I guess you could say it fuels my ‘fighting spirit.’”  
  
Lili stared in wonder at her teacher and friend, before realizing what she must mean, and she quickly filled with horror.  
  
“You’re not going to-?”  
  
“Oh, but I am,” Elizabeta said sourly, looking angry, “I want to join, because I’d like to kick the crap out of Vietnam for bombing us.”  
  
Lili was silent, feeling a feeling of sadness swell inside her like a balloon, and she bowed her head quietly, knowing it was Elizabeta’s choice and there was nothing she had the right to say to stop her from doing it.  
  
“Don’t look so down, kiddo,” Elizabeta said in a cheery voice, noticing Lili’s mood change, “When I come back alive, I’m still going to be the same-old me.”  
  
Lili thought of all those soldiers she saw daily-some with melted faces, with scarred, limp bodies and missing body parts. She saw soldiers with looks of hopelessness in their eyes, some screaming for their family or lost friends in battle. She saw how desperate they looked. And she knew there was no way Elizabeta could come back untouched.  
  
Lili felt her eyes welled up slightly with tears as she thought of Elizabeta looking just like that, looking broken.  
  
“It’s your choice,” Lili whispered, before exiting the chat.  
  


* * *

  
  
The next day was spent shuffling through boxes, for Basch had found them in the corner of the attic while looking for the Christmas tree. They had belonged to Basch’s grandmother, according to the writing. Digging through them, Lili found several interesting books and old, old DVDs.  
  
“What’s….’Maleficent?’” Lili asked, examining the cover of a box she found a DVD in. Basch looked up from his own box before shaking his head.  
  
“Never heard of it.”  
  
“It looks really old…” Lili put it back in it’s box before continuing to dig through it, coughing as dust rose out of it. “There’s so many books…”  
  
“Lili, look!” Basch held up a strange little rectangle with bumps at the side and a cracked, black screen, “This is what an Apple phone used to look like!”  
  
Lili was bewildered. It was strangely shaped, and there were no voiceboxes...Nothing!  
  
“How could you call someone on that?” She asked, genuinely curious.  
  
“I don’t know,” Basch tapped at the screen, brow furrowed as he dje so, “Maybe it’s voice-operated?...Or maybe it's just really, really old...”  
  
Soon after they had finished rummaging through the boxes flr anything interesting, Basch sat back and rubbed his hands on his pants, looking a bit tired.  
  
“Lili, could you please run into town and get some steak?" He asked, leaning his back against the wall, "I forgot to yesterday.”  
  
“But…” Lili’s eyes widened as she stared at Basch, “Steak is so expensive…”  
  
Basch smiled lightly, his tired eyes meeting hers.  
  
“My treat.”

* * *

  
  
Lili (remembering to bring her ID this time) raced towards the line of soldiers, heading intentionally towards the familiar-looking American from before so she wouldn't face anyone scary.  
  
“Good day, young lady!” He said in a joking voice as she all approached, crouching down so he was eye-level with Lili and giving her ID a quick examination before giving it back, “Stay safe, okay?”  
  
“Thank you!” Lili responded, and she genuinely meant it as she hurried past him in excitement, coat fluttering. Steak! How long has it been since she had had steak? Years! Years! She had nearly forgotten what it tasted li-  
  
BAM!  
  
Falling to the ground and landing painfully on her back, Lili’s train of thought and flurry of excitement came to an abrupt halt as she had collided with something very solid-that something being the looming figure of a person.  
  
“I’m sorry!” Lili apologized quickly, scrambling to her feet and feeling her face turn red with embarrassment, “I really am, truly-”  
  
“You again?”  
  
Well, that certainly hadn’t been the reaction she was expecting. Lili looked up to see she had slammed right into none other than Natalia, who looked ticked off and tired.  
  
“Yes, I’m s-so sorry-” Lili quickly stammered when she regained herself, backing away quickly and ducking her head to hide her red face, “I did not mean--it w-was an acci-”  
  
“Stop apologizing!” Natalia snapped, but her gaze softened ever so slightly when she saw Lili flinch at the harshness of her tone, “No no no, do not look sad--stop looking sad damn it-”  
  
Natalia glanced around at the staring passerby before sighing, taking Lili’s wrist, who was still averting her gaze, and said,  
  
“Come on, let’s go.”  
  
“Wh-where?” Lili asked in surprise as she was pulled through the busy streets, slipping a little on the ice as she tried to match Natalia's brisk pace.  
  
“Where were you going?”  
  
“The s-supermarket to buy a steak and-”  
  
“Then that’s where we’re going,” Natalia said with a note of finality in her voice. Lili allowed herself to be dragged across the village, trying not to meet the gazes of villagers and soldiers alike. One soldier said something in Ukrainian, and an American responded, also in choppy Ukrainian. Lili felt her cheeks redden once again as she was pulled into the store. Lili thought Natalia would let her go by now, but the Belarusian dragged her all the way to the meat aisle before finally loosening her grip.  
  
“You’ve got to watch where you’re going, and we have to stop meeting like this,” Natalia snapped as she watched Lili turn her head away from the silvery-haired woman and instead eye the packages of meat, “It's going to start looking bad on my part.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Lili said softly, just wanting to shrink into herself with her embarassment, “I really am!”  
  
There was a brief pause before Natalia gave a sigh, crossing her arms and watching Lili pick at the different sizes of steak being sold.   
  
“I’m sorry for snapping,” Natalia finally said when Lili picked up a package of four steaks, deeming it was appropiate for dinner tonight, “But you really need to watch where the fuck you’re going.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Lili said again, for what seemed to be the millionth time tkdah. Natalia stared at her, eyes serious and mouth drawn into a line, before suddenly laughing, and although Lili didn’t know what exactly she was laughing at, she laughed too.  
  
“What’s your name again?” Natalia asked when the laughter cleared away, brushing a few light colored locks of hair out of her face.  
  
“Lili,” Lili responded automatically, bouncing a little on the heels of her feet. Natalia closed her eyes and breathed heavily through her nose.  
  
“I’m probably not going to remember that.” She finally said after several long moments of silence.  
  
“Oh,” Lili said, feeling faintly disappointed, but was hit by an idea. “Do you have a Sharpie?”  
  
“Yes,” Natalia frowned, extracting it from her pocket with slight hesitance, “Why?”  
  
“I was named after the pink stargazer lily,” Lili explained, taking the sharpie from the soldier, “And they symbolize prosperity. They’re called stargazer lilies so-” Lili drew a star on Natalia’s palm, the black standing out on the woman’s snow colored skin-”Maybe you’ll remember my name with this.”  
  
Natalia looked down at her palm with a quirked eyebrow, as if she didn’t know what to say or didn't quite understand what the drawn star meant. Truth be told, Lili had no idea what to say either, so she kept silent, looking down at her feet with her hands behind her back, waiting for the Belarusian woman to say something.  
  
“Thank you,” Natalia’s voice said suddenly, and Lili looked up to see the woman’ eyes were wet, and Lili was confused as to why. Had she somehow touched a touchy subject? Is that why she was crying? If so, why did she just say thank you?  
  
“Thank you? Thank you for what?” Lili asked, feeling as if she was being left out of something important. However, Natalia did not answer, but instead turned around and walked away from Lili without another word. Lili, hopelessly confused, decided to hurry home after she payed for the steak and decided not think about it much more. It would only confuse her further.


	4. Vier

Lili had been hoping to enjoy steak with Basch that night in front of the TV and watch the old movie she had found, but loud sounds coming from outside had driven both her and Basch into the attic. Sitting on a box, Lili stared at her feet as the noises outside grew louder. It sounded a lot like shouting and various objects banging against one another.

Looking up at Basch, Lili saw her older brother was staring hard at the wall, jaw set.  Reaching over, she grasped his hand with hers, and gave it a light squeeze.

“Are we going to be okay?” Lili asked. The house suddenly gave a slight tremble. It caused her to jolt, heart thumping, and Basch slid to the floor with her, tucking her underneath his arm. 

“Just go to sleep,” He said, brushing her hair out of her face, and Lili wrapped her arms around him tightly, “Just go to sleep…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Natalia stared at the distant smoke, far, far away, but not far away enough. She could feel the tremors from the bombs, but nothing too extreme. The bombings seemed to be far, far, far away, not in Switzerland. Perhaps in France.

Her fellow soldiers were currently in a heated argument with the Ukrainian, and she had removed herself from their nonsense, shoulder her gun as she did so. Times like these were when the civilians panicked and demanded answers from the authority figures. She would be fully prepared for any sort of danger that came her way.

Another sudden tremor shook the ground, and this was seemed a little bit closer, but she could see no planes in the sky, and the black sky far, far away seemed more like a dream than reality.

Sliding to the floor, Natalia watched as they argued back and forth, not really sure over what--she had lost track of the conversation a long time ago. They were stubborn, and would not stop arguing for a long time, she suspected. Glancing into the sky, she saw that there were very few stars out tonight. Very few. 

“Arlovskaya,”  A voice said, and she turned her head to see her commanding officer standing there, a letter in hand.

“The letters came yesterday, but this one just arrived, and it’s for you.”

Taking the yellow paper in her hands, Natalia cast a glance to him before unfolding it. She scanned it, not fully reading it, but getting the general idea. Letting her hands drop into her lap, she crushed the paper in her left fist, the one not drawn on.

“If you need to be relieved of duty tonight, I understand,” His voice was much more soothing than his usual gruff tone, but it returned to normal as he stalked away, shouting at his soldiers to get control over themselves.

Natalia got to her feet, suddenly feeling very frail, as if the wind was going to blow her away. Her coat snapped in the strong breeze, a uniform blue with tough, almost leathery fabric. Feeling as if a pressure were being put on her chest, she walked slowly down the hill, rocking slightly with the wind.

So. She was the only one, now. The only one left. The fist clenched around the yellow paper trembled, and Natalia brushed a few strands of platinum hair that had been swept onto her face.

The only one.

The only one left.

The village road was empty. They were smart, and were indoors. That was good. They were good. She was good.

She was good.

She was just fine, right?   
Natalia sank onto the front step of a random house, running her fingers through her hair as she felt a burning sensation behind her eyes, like someone had poured lava into her head and it was threatening to come out of her eyes.

Not here, not now.

Why?

How could this happen?

The only one.

Only one left.

She looked down at the paper again, as the first few tears ran down her cheeks.

There wouldn’t even be a funeral. No body was found.

The paper fell from her hand and it blew away with the wind as Natalia jammed her palms into her eyes, gritting her teeth. God damn it, she was a soldier, not a village girl. She was a soldier. She was a good soldier, a strong soldier, a soldier. She wasn’t going to cry.

But she did cry, and she cried well into the night, because just like Yekaterina, Ivan wasn’t going to get a funeral either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lili woke up several times during the night, but every time she did, Basch hugged her tighter and told her to go to sleep, and when she woke up, they’d make the steak, and then they’d eat, and they’d go out in the feilds together and maybe throw a ball like they did when she was younger.

Lili’s dreams were full of fleeting images. Images of wounded soldiers, soldiers dying of thirst, crawling towards small puddles of light. The mysterious miss Natalia, who she seemed to run into so much she might even call it a Fate of some kind rather than coincidence. 

By the time it was midday of Saturday, Lili had woken up for good and found Basch to still be staring at the wall, the bags under his eyes evident.

“Good morning,” Lili said, jerking him out of his stupor.

“Oh,” Basch said, and shifted slightly so Lili could get to her feet. He stood up as well, his bones and joints popping back into place audibly.

The air was stiff and silent as they cooked the steaks, like promised, though as she ate one, Lili felt they might have tasted a lot better if she didn’t have an awful and horrible feeling brewing in the pit of her stomach.

When Lili asked if they were going to play ball like Basch said, a serious look crossed his face.

“Actually, Lili, I wanted to talk to you about something…”

Lili felt her face fall.

Oh.

They sat down at the rickety wooden table, Basch staring hard at the wood, his fists curling and uncurling several times on the surface, as if he were very indecisive about something. When Lili sat down, he suddenly sat up and rushed off to go make them a cup of tea. When he returned, he set his tea down and handed Lili hers.

“Okay, Lili,” Basch took a deep breath, as if preparing to dive into very deep, very cold water. Lili gripped the handle of her teacup nervously, not liking the strange pitch of her big brother’s voice. She wanted to speak, to ask him what was bothering him, what was wrong, but her voice seemed to have died.

“Lili, I’ve been thinking of this for a long time,” Basch began, and then stopped, staring hard into his cup of tea. It seemed to stare dully back at him, before he started speaking again.

“I want you to know that. This is something I’ve been thinking about for a long, long time, not just last night.”

Lili had a feeling she knew where this conversation was going, but she didn’t want it to be true. She didn’t. It couldn’t. How could it be? Basch wouldn’t do that. Maybe he was talking about something entirely differently. He could be, couldn’t he?

“Lili, I don’t want you to be alarmed or shocked or….Or scared,” Basch’s voice suddenly seemed very small as he trained his eyes on hers, locking gazes. Lili forcibly pushed down a mouthful of scalding tea down her throat, heart thudding.

“I want to join the military, Lili.”

The world seemed dead. Silent. Far away. Lili looked down at the table, before setting down her tea cup. She had meant to set it down gently, but with the trembling of her hand, it seemed to slam on the surface. She looked up at Basch, wanting to say something, anything, but her voice was also silent, also dead, located somewhere very far away.

“Please don’t cry,” Basch’s voice cracked, and he suddenly buried his face into his hands, rubbing furiously at his eyes. Lili touched a hand to her cheek, and was shocked when she discovered it was wet. She was crying. She was crying.

“You have to understand me,” Basch’s voice rang out in the silence, as if desperate to explain himself, though Lili wasn’t speaking, wasn’t questioning, “Lili--there’s...There’s….Th-there’s…”

He picked up his teacup and took a long drink, even though it was scalding and hot and probably burned and harmed him greatly, and then he set his empty tea cup down, looking very sick. Finally, he seemed to steady himself, regaining control, and looked back up at Lili.

“Lili, you have to understand, there’s more people out there like me, more than you think, making decisions like these,” Basch said, his voice steady and slow, and Lili felt the tears running faster down her face,  “And just like me, they’re joining to fight, to see this war finish sooner rather than later...And I’m going to aid in that. I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life having to live like this.”

But Lili had stood up. She felt betrayed and furious, but mostly, sad.

“But you can’t!” She said, hands clenching her dress, “You can’t, Basch, you can’t--”

Her knees were weak. Her heart had stopped. Elizabeta, and now Basch? Didn’t they understand the horrors that could come from war? Disfiguration, the loss of limbs, death--all which were the price of war, of battle, of fighting.

Didn’t they understand that?

And with the thought of Basch’s face, covered in scars, and his once-soft hands leathery with burns, limping home with the weight of the world on his shoulders, Lili ran from the kitchen and out the door, outside where the air seemed thick and dusty and she coughed, but continued running, lungs burning. 

Because they didn’t understand, how could they? How could they do this to her when they knew, full and well, that the cost of war was something completely and undeniably awful?

Lili continued running, into she fell to her knees, one of the streets just outside the main village, and started sobbing, pressing her palm against her mouth to prevent herself from crying to loudly.

And it seemed, three house in front of her, sitting on one of the steps with her head buried in her knees, Lili wasn’t the only one crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are inspiration! Kudos are love! Subscription alerts you when this story is updated! All three make me me very happy!


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